What is your Dating Behavior?
When it comes to dating, there are many different types of people who date many types of ways. For example, you could be a person who doesn’t like to be around other people, or you might love to be the center of the stage constantly. Maybe you like to take charge of situations, be a leader of sorts. On the other hand, you might be more comfortable allowing others to tell you what and how to do things. Determining what kind of person you are and why type of attitude you have when it comes to everyday life could make it easier to deal with dating and relationships as well.
Attention Seeking
The attention seeking type can become a bot annoying if you are not the type to handle this behavior well. Determining if you are the type to seek attention, no matter what the cost, is the first step to understanding your dating style and who you are compatible with. Look at these questions:
- Do you tend to “sell yourself?”
- Do you constantly talk about yourself?
- Do you exaggerate events?
- Are you grandiose?
- Do you take excessive risks?
- Do you like when other people challenge your worth or being?
- Do you make yourself the center of attention?
- Do you claim you are the best at something when you are not?
- Do you promise you will do things and don’t?
- Are you overly emotional?
The Way You See the World
If you answer yes to any of these questions, you may very well have an attention seeking personality. You see the world differently than other people. Most people think that attention seekers are a weak type of people, that they cannot stand up for themselves, or they are clingy. However, in reality, the attention seekers are this way because they can’t stand having to rely on others, no matter what the cost.
Attention seeking people do not want to have to depend on anyone else so they will make it seem as if they can do almost anything-even though they know they cannot. This puts them in a bad light with others because when they over exaggerate their abilities or their worth, it seems to other people like they are purposely lying or making things up. This can cause other people to talk and think negatively about the person acting this way. It can also cause mistrust between two people in a relationship because these are the people who promise they will take care of the other no matter what the cost then they do not.
The real truth of the matter is that you are the type of person who will respect someone’s strengths and laugh at their weaknesses. You have a tendency to want to look good in front of other people who are your equal and will say or do anything to get their attention or approval. All you want or care about is making someone else proud of you.
How the World Sees the Attention Seekers
The world on the other hand will see all the attention seeking in a different light. This is because they are seeing and feeling the negative effects of the exaggerations. They do not realize or even care that the attention seekers are doing what they do on an unconscious level. They also do not care that the attention seekers do not mean what they do-that they just do it. All they are seeing is the attention seeker lying to the world and pretending to be something they are not.
What Really Happens
This would normally be called a “poser.” And a poser is the type of person who can morph into anything some else wants them to be. Once the world realizes this is the type of person they are dealing with, some people will use this knowledge to their advantage and make a bad situation worse. There are many people out there who will use a person such s the attention seeker to get what they want. For example, when a person wants to make a scene or start a fight, they will send the attention seeker to do it because the other person knows the attention seeker will not mind starting the fight. Nor will they mind getting in trouble for it either.
There are many people in the world who are guilty of taking advantage of the attention seekers, and it makes them just as wrong as the attention seekers are for behaving the way that they do. The real problem is when this type of behavior takes place in a relationship, where one partner is the attention seeker and the other takes advantage of them. This is a big cause of a great many breakups and resentments.
Stopping the Problem in its Tracks
Ultimately, this behavior is a problem. For the couples who have to deal with this particular behavior, it causes a lot of stress and arguments. And those arguments and constant stress will ultimately lead to a breakup-which is even more stressful on a person’s emotional state. It is a cycle that must be stopped, otherwise it could last for generations and it probably already has.
Unfortunately, there are only a few things a couple-or a person-can do to fix these problems and the behavior. There is only one thing to fix this kind of relationship and make the cycle stop. That is through counseling. It is a difficult thing to realize let alone admit, but breaking the cycle is the only way to fix this. You will regain respect, trust and most of all, you will know that you have the ability to read and understand yourself. Understanding yourself is the way to understanding what it is that makes your relationship tick, and the one thing that can make it better.
~JC Torpey
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