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Online Attitude & Presence

Dating Online Requires the Same Presence of Mind

Forgetting Yourself
When you are trying to find a love interest within the confines of an online dating site, you can easily forget what it is like to have to present yourself in certain ways. In other words, you are forgetting that your first impression still counts! Yes, it really does, and it is the first thing to go. Considering those facts, there are things you can and should do to make a good impression-at any stage of the game. Remember, just because you are dating online, it doesn’t mean the basic rules on dating have changed!

Keeping that in mind, here are a few things you can do to make that first online impression go smoothly, so you don’t need the second chance to save face. If you get it right the first time, you will have more of a chance to make it to the second time. Then if and when you do make it, you can start to relax-but not too much!

  • Be courteous and never willingly disrespect anyone. Never talk about anything that could come off as disrespectful to the person’s culture, race, background or anything similar. That said, never let anyone do the same to you.
  • Promote a confident attitude, not a conceited one. A conceited attitude will get you absolutely nowhere. However, this will only work if you are genuinely confident of yourself. Only then can you project that confidence. Do you know how it is when someone feels good about themselves, they smile, or walk a certain way? They will walk into a room and almost everyone stops what they are doing to look, but you gracefully continue what you are doing because you know you look good you present yourself in a way that shows confidence. In other words, you don’t make a big deal out of it.

Even though you may already have sailed past the first meeting, chat or message and have found you have given a less than stellar performance, it might not be too late to save face. In fact, it could actually work to your advantage. Here are a few things you can do to get that first impression back and maybe even make a better one the second time around.

  • Apologize for your rudeness/ignorance. This is the first thing you should do if in fact you acted as such the last time you talked/messaged them. As in any situation, realizing your mistakes and admitting to them only makes for a better impression.
  • Promise you will not do it again. You want to make the other person feel like they can trust you will act properly, whether you are writing them talking to them or going somewhere. Just because you cannot see or hear them when you are online is no excuse to behave as if it doesn’t matter. So promising you will not do it again shows that you actually care.
  • Keep your promises. All talk and no action can turn the complete situation into something it shouldn’t be. How would you react to someone who is constantly talking about doing something and they never actually do anything? Same thing in this situation.

Keeping it Real
If you can manage to heed the advice here, there is no reason you shouldn’t be able to have a great online presence. Because it really is the first thing that gives a potential mate a clue to your behavior, it is the most important thing in online dating games. If you can manage your online presence and keep it within an acceptable range of behavior, then you should have no problems turning any of your online chats into first dates. However, if you start behaving as if nothing means anything important to you, then you are probably going to act the same way in the real world, and who wants to be with someone who doesn’t care?

~JC Torpey

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