Or Should You Just let it Go?

This series is about trust, relationships and the reality contained within them. How do you know when it is safe to trust your partner? There are so many different aspects to the trust issue, so I will do a few posts on the subject. This one is the second one, and it is about analyzing a broken relationship to see if you should try to mend it or if it would be better to separate for good. This is just a guide and not intended to try and tell you what you should do, as ultimately, the decision is up to you. I just hope to give you something to think about while making that decision.

The other posts will follow sometime this coming week. Please take heed and enjoy this post. Just remember, I have been here, there and everywhere, so I understand how you feel. Believe me, if my experiences, good or bad, can help even one person, then my life was worth something…
~JC

The Challenge-Are You Up for It?
One of the biggest challenges we face when it comes to relationships is making them work-or trying to. A damaged relationship can be an even bigger challenge when you want to try to patch things up and keep them going, instead of just breaking it off, as many couples should consider doing. For as many different reasons there are to want to make things work, there are reasons why you shouldn’t, on a fundamental level. There is also the factor of not actually wanting things to work, too. Do you have what it takes to try to mend a broken relationship? Or should you even try? Here are a few words for you to consider while analyzing the problem and determining the situation.

Analyzing the Situation
Whether you should try to fix a damaged relationship or not actually depends on what happened to make the relationship break in the first place. Because each situation is different and requires a different approach, it will take some massive amounts of patience and work to figure out what happened.

How do you know when you should try to fix a broken relationship, or if you should leave it alone and let it go? Read these tips and contemplate them enough and you will ultimately know what is right for you and your life. While couples automatically assume they should make a relationship work for various reasons, such as the kids, vested financial interests, property division, etc., what these same couples so not realize, is they may actually be hurting themselves more than helping by “saving” the relationship. Because, whether you want to admit it, not everyone can save every relationship and letting go may be the best thing to do and the only to make it work in the long run.

Should You Even Try?
This is usually the first thing you want to ask yourself. Do you even want to try to make the relationship work? Not having this question answered before you, the act of trying will make things more difficult than they really need to be. Not only will it be harder to do, why would you even want to try to make things work if you just don’t have the heart to do so? You need to do what is going to make you happy, not what makes everyone else happy.

What Caused the Break?
What caused the damage to begin with? Was it something that happened abruptly, like a cheater being found out? Or maybe it was a pattern of events that happened over time, and built up to a point where the feelings busted at the seams and the relationship busted right along with those feelings. Either way, you must determine what caused the break first, then determine if it is worth fixing.

Do Both Parties Agree ?
You definitely do not want to mend the relationship just because the other party thinks it is a good idea and you don’t. On the same token, you don’t want to force your partner into fixing a relationship they don’t want fixed as well. Don’t be afraid to do what is right for you, even if that means giving up on the situation and moving on with your life-and possibly hurting your would be partner. If they really cared enough, they would understand you are not happy and let you go, even if they will hurt because of it. And on the other side, if they feel they don’t want to mend things, don’t try to force them.

This is probably the most important factor when determining whether you should try to mend things. If only one partner feels they want to fix things and the other feels forced, they will harbor resentments and bad feelings against the other and the relationship will just break again in the future. This fact goes for both parties. Both of you need to be in agreement, or it is not wort fixing. Why would you want to put in all that work to see it go down the tubes later?

The Final Outcome
Having asked and (hopefully) answered these questions, you can then determine if the relationship is worth saving or not. however, keep in mind that when answering these questions you must be absolutely truthful with yourself and your partner. If there is no truth, there can be no relationship. Not being truthful is almost like lying to your partner, and that loses trust-from both sides. The final outcome, however, could be that you decide to move on and mend things, or you still decide to move on but each going their separate ways. I sincerely hope you will make the right decision for you-no matter the outcome. That said, if you do decide to mend things, check back soon on how to make it easier to do so. Until then…