For the next few weeks, maybe a few months-I don’t know really, it depends on how many I can fit into one post-I don’t want it to be unorganized, that’s for sure. We’ll go over one subject at a time. I am going to do a series on the rules of online dating. Most will probably be some form of common sense, but as with many people, common sense needs to be reiterated over and over again-especially when it comes to the subject of dating. That said, this is just a reminder that there is a proper way to behave. Online dating is not a free for all, after all. So, buckle down, read up and enjoy the Rules of the Road & Online Dating-and put it to use!
When online dating first began, the rules were-there were no rules. Now, in the world of privacy conflicting with Net Neutrality, the rules for online dating have changed just as drastically-there actually are some these days. And what’s more, there are rules for every different aspect of the online dating scene. Rules for profiles, rules for safety, rules for chatting and talking, and most of all, rules for meeting for the first time. Lets take a look at some of the most important and basic rules of emailing when online dating.
Rule 1: The 24 Hour Rule
Do not answer any direct messages (DMs) or emails within the first 24 hours. You don’t want to make it look as if you have no life, do you? Another way of looking desperate is if you were to chase a guy down through emails and DMs. While emailing a guy is acceptable, it is NOT acceptable to email him more than once every 24 hours-unless he asks a specific question, of course. But then again, hanging on his every word and answering even the emails that ask direct questions too fast can get you into trouble. Doing so can make him think he’s got you wrapped-that you are his and it’s a done deal. Girls, you certainly don’t want them to think that, do you? I didn’t think so. So please, wait at least 24 hours between emails, OK?
Rule 2: The Weekend Rule
When you do reply to an email or DM, make sure it is not on a weekend. Again, this is so you look like you have a life other than online dating and scouring the chat boards. This can also make those who might be interested in you think you are of the boring sort. I mean come on, who is going to sit in front of their computer for hours on end on a weekend and scour the chat and message boards looking for someone to talk to when you could be out and about looking for love? It can make some guys think you are the wallflower mousy type and don’t get out much. That’s the last type of girl any guy wants, unless of course he is looking for someone he can keep locked up under his control… I guess if you are into that sort of thing go ahead and answer the emails on a weekend. Whatever floats your boat honey…
Rule 3: The Should You Answer Rule
When you do answer that DM “during the week,” go ahead and answer his questions. But answer them with caution and only after deciding whether or not they are worthy of answering. It all depends on how you think a guy should be talking to you online. For example, a guy who is short and curt but actually has something of value to say, then you may consider answering him. Like if he writes about himself for a few lines then asks you pertinent questions such as where you are from, what are you looking for in a man-questions that mean he is actually genuinely interested in possibly starting a relationship with you.
On the other end of the spectrum, if he doesn’t say anything about himself but only asks a few questions like “what size bra do you wear,” or “when can we hook up?” Well, then I don’t think that looks to be the kind of guy who is being serious. Well, no that’s not quite right. He is being serious-seriously rude to be exact. This is the type of guy that you do want to email back, but only to tell him not to contact you again, that you are looking for more than a simple one night hook up in the back of the grocery store “Camaro Style” Again, if that is what you are into-go for it! Who am I to tell you not to do something, right? If you just want a quick fling, then by all means do what you will. But there are easier ways then wasting time on the Internet-the corner bar for example…
The Results…
Well, now that you have a handle on the email thing, why not go and put it to use? As long as you keep in mind the tips and rules here, you are sure to make a good impression an anyone who contacts you. Ad if you don’t and the guy skips out because of impatience, then he probably is just looking for sex and is not the type for a long term relationship. Do you want a guy like that? Probably not-again, you can find that type of guy in the corner bar if you wanted to…
When this is published, it will be Saturday afternoon in the States (yes, that is where I am from-originally a New Yorker transplanted to Philadelphia), so all of you women form the US, go out and get some fresh air somewhere! And when the rest of the world reads this, do the same. There is no reason to be sitting in front of your computers scouring the Internet for the perfect guy. I understand you have your reasons for doing so, but there is no excuse for not having some fun once in a while outside of the internet…
There are so many other places you can try to look for love. And I know you have probably been there before, but even if you get up and go to a bar one Saturday night and just go to have a good time-not necessarily looking for love-you never know what might happen. Besides, we need some kind of outlet to de-stress, otherwise we cold internally combust and that is not a pretty sight. No one wants to date an emotional or mental mess and that is what you are heading for if you keep yourself cooped up watching and hanging on every word of a dating site.
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