Christmas-The Aftermath of a Great Holiday & Some Reflections to Consider

Where Have We Been and Where Are We Going?
Was it All Worth It & Can Things Get Better?

where do you want to start?
where do you want to start?

Soul Searching for Our Own Truth-Taking An Inventory
Now that Christmas has come and gone, this would be a great time to take a personal inventory and see where you are at with your personal life. It is something I do yearly right after Christmas, but I make sure to do it before the new year coming. Why is it I do it like this? It’s and easy answer, so let me tell you. It is because I want to know where I am and where I am going and the New Year with the tradition of resolutions is the best time for me to make changes if any are needed.

Of course, you can do this all throughout the year, but it wouldn’t mean as much, I think, or at least it doesn’t for me. Usually the only time I do this during the year is if I am in a situation that warrants it. Ok, maybe I do ask myself these questions more than I realize, but if you are a person who has never done this before, the New Year is a great place to start. Or maybe it would mean more to someone else at another time of the year, I guess it all depends on what the situation is. So, with the year coming to a close, and a new one on the way, lets ask a few personal questions to test the waters, so to speak… Ready?

Ask yourself these:

Where have things gone right for you this past year? Meaning, have you done what you wanted to do? Have you accomplished the goals you set out to do? If yes, the were the results as expected, or was there something missing, or added to them? And if you didn’t accomplish what you set out to do, why do you think hat was? Is there anything you feel that you could have done differently that would have changed things for the better to accomplish your goals?

Where have things gone not so right for you this past year? Do you feel you could have done things differently to smooth out what ever situations you may have gotten yourself into? Was there anything you could have done to change the outcome? Is there something you can do, now knowing what has happened in the past, to make things easier should a similar situation arise in the future?

And probably the most important question of all, did you in fact learn anything from your escapades over the last year? This is just the most simplest but powerful question in the world, in my opinion. It is an easy yes or no question, but it is one that makes you really think and be honest with yourself. It can only be yes or no, and that is it, no maybe, or maybe not. You have either learned from your actions or not. But either way, you have grown as a person, and that is what counts.

My Turn To Answer
Now, don’t anyone fret, I would never ask anything so personal without giving up something about myself. I would never think I was so good a person as to be above the advice I give, believe me. so, here are my answers to the questions I just had you ask yourself.

Where have things gone right, well, to be honest, I have finally figured out, after may false starts, in which direction I want to go in with my career. At first I thought I would be a Funeral Director, then a website programmer. But I didn’t do so well in college learning the programming languages like Visual Basic and such, so switched to something that makes me happier, more on that later, though. I have been a writer all of my life, however I had never done it professionally and one day I had the chance to jump into it.

So I did and here I am. I am happy, I work from home and I don’t think there was a better decision I could have made for myself. So, yes, I accomplished the goal I set for myself, I chose a career, finally. And yes, I could have done things differently but, I think if I had, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

Next question, no, some things didn’t go the way they were supposed to in the area of school for me. I had set out last year to become a programmer and a coder and jumped in head first without thinking thinking because I am a quick learner it would come easily to me. Boy was I wrong. I encountered a class that made no sense to me at all and I almost failed. I take classes online, so it is a bit more difficult in certain respects.

So, yes. I dropped out. No, that’s not exactly right, I withdrew from classes. I would honestly rather drop out or withdraw than fail. And I know where I went wrong. I tried to start a career and a new school all at once, without giving thought as to where I was going to find the time to do both. But, being as I knew where I went wrong, I changed things for next time and I start again in the second week of January.

I was taking straight programming classes, but the new classes seem more interesting to me. I think I have finally found my calling because from the minute I looked at what the new classes are about, I got a chill of instant understanding, whereas I did not have that feeling with the others. And, I have finally found my way around time management, meaning I will be able to have the writing career I want and go to school to get my degree at the same time.

A new year, new school and new direction of classes. I am this time taking Interactive Media and Web Design, while minoring in journalism. I will focus on doing what is right or me, with respect a to what I want form life, not what others think I want.

And for learning something? Well, you guessed it, I learned immensely from this past year. It is really too much to go into , but things are changing, I am getting married this year, buying a house, and all because I learned a few things about myself during the year and along a bumpy ride that almost literally killed me. My physical health declined and while I was in the hospital hooked up to all these machines trying to keep me alive at the age of 32, I realized that life is too good to not live it. It’s that simple, for me anyway.

Because of all the stress I put myself through I almost killed myself and everything I had worked to achieve, and how am I supposed to enjoy what I have accomplished if I am not around to even see what I have created? And that was it. Instant change for me.

And Here We Are, An Old Year Gone, A New One On the Horizon
So, have you asked yourself these questions? It si only fair to yourself that you understand where you are, so you can figure out where you want to go…

Which brings me to being here writing this blog. We are all here for a reason, we all know this. But one thing many of us realize is the actual reason why. I realized that when I was ill, which is why I am still here writing this. This is the part of my life that I am living for.

And I will tell you why. It’s not for the money, or to maybe be famous for my writings one day, although both are and would be nice things to have. It is because with this blog, I get to talk about things that I have lived, and I get to share it with everyone. And thinking that maybe one day something I write could help even just one person, makes me happy. And that goes for everything I write, on any page or website, for anyone.

I am not sure if you have seen some of the headings in the first posts I ever made for this blog, but I explain that I write because I have lived what I write about. I write because I have been there, where some of you may be. Everything I write about is not just blind advice, no. It is something more to me. What I write about, especially for this blog, are pieces of my life and things I have learned form certain situations that I have been in and they are things I am hoping someone else can learn from too, and maybe get their asses out of a tough situation a little easier.

So, I hope this has done something for someone, even if not now, sometime in the future when someone reads this, just know I have been where you are, I know what you feel, as I have felt all of the fear, pain, sorrow, joy, happiness and excitement a person can feel when they are dating or involved with someone, have felt both the good and the bad of this thing we call romance, relationships and dating.

I have suffered as many do, but I have also lived a great life that I have learned from as well. And lived to tell about it and am a better person because of it. And if just one person reads what I write and it somehow makes their life a bit easier, if just one person can get something out of my experiences and what I have learned and write, then for me, all the suffering and all the joy, it was all worth it. And I am a much happier person because of it. And I wish everyone to have and feel the same the happiness I feel…

And with that, I will say goodnight, and good luck and until next time…

~Remember to never give up hope because when all else is lost, the hope is all we have left- It is what keeps us alive~

Merry Christmas and Please have a Safe and Happy New Year
With Much Love~JC Torpey
and everyone else from Thoughts On Dating and the teams!

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  3. Matthew -Stressed and Unhappy Avatar
    Matthew -Stressed and Unhappy

    Very well researched. Good Job

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